i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
