one might say we're banned from that church
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
