I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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