I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
