I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
