Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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