whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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