I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
