doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
