like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
