You can't motorboat a personality
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
