guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
