Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
