Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
His nipple licking is glorious
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