I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
