You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
People in love make me want to vomit
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
