Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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