Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
