You just made me feel so damn special
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
