he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
