is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
