Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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