its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
