so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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