farters have to be the big spoon...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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