Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
