Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Terrible idea I love it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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