Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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