Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
