do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
