i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
