Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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