"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
