there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
