If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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