And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
