fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
