AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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