I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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