I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
