weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize