My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
