I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
