Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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