yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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