Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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