I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
