my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
