You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
