His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
