i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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