hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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