so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
