so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
