You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
