so that wasnt chicken after all
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do herpes really smell.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
