last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize