How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
