like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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