The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
