my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
