chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
