where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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