Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do herpes really smell.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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