me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
