can we get nightvision for the apartment?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize