I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize