You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
