I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
