Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She even gives head with a lisp.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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