I want to stick my p in your. b.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
