just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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