Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
